At this point you should be just fine getting along with celebrities, cosplayers and booth girls. This final edition covers those things you thought that I forgot about, like feeling boobs and getting groped. These are all possible realities when you seem highly approachable, so lets start with a helpful tip.
Tip #1: Having Handlers
Yes, handlers. That first year that I went to Comic Con my handlers kind of fell into their job. My two friends got me good and slammed and decided that their job would be to point out a person and force me to go get a picture with them. They found this hilarious, as I posed with booth girls, cosplayers, famous people, regular people that were just going about their business and people working concession stands. The other portion of their self made jobs was to make sure that I didn't pass out and puke on anyone and that I didn't get sober enough to lose my courage; a tight balance.
In my second year, their jobs became much tougher. They truly were handlers. We quickly learned that the Leia outfit was a big hit and I had people swarming me. I was constantly having my picture taken. My two friends helped manage crowds like they were guarding some kind of celebrity. They also took tons of pictures. Half of them were of me and the people getting their photo taken, but the other half were of the people taking the pictures. This led to some great photos of people laughing but it also showed us an unusual side of people. There were a number of people that looked offended when Early took their picture as a trade off for them taking my picture. It was as if by wearing a costume, I gave up all of my rights and people didn't have to follow the rules that I detailed earlier. To go along with this lack of rights I had some instances where people started groping me, so lets talk about that.
Tip #1: Having Handlers
Yes, handlers. That first year that I went to Comic Con my handlers kind of fell into their job. My two friends got me good and slammed and decided that their job would be to point out a person and force me to go get a picture with them. They found this hilarious, as I posed with booth girls, cosplayers, famous people, regular people that were just going about their business and people working concession stands. The other portion of their self made jobs was to make sure that I didn't pass out and puke on anyone and that I didn't get sober enough to lose my courage; a tight balance.
In my second year, their jobs became much tougher. They truly were handlers. We quickly learned that the Leia outfit was a big hit and I had people swarming me. I was constantly having my picture taken. My two friends helped manage crowds like they were guarding some kind of celebrity. They also took tons of pictures. Half of them were of me and the people getting their photo taken, but the other half were of the people taking the pictures. This led to some great photos of people laughing but it also showed us an unusual side of people. There were a number of people that looked offended when Early took their picture as a trade off for them taking my picture. It was as if by wearing a costume, I gave up all of my rights and people didn't have to follow the rules that I detailed earlier. To go along with this lack of rights I had some instances where people started groping me, so lets talk about that.
Tip #2: How to say no.
As you can see in the pictures I was sporting a bra top. The bra was not stuffed with anything, there were no falsies or anything like that in there but oddly, numerous people were compelled to grab my chest as if there were boobs in there. I am not sure if it was because I am a man, or because they thought I wouldn't mind, but I felt that it was highly unusual to assume that I would let someone grope me without permission. I can't imagine that there were any females there that would allow someone to freely come up to them and fondle their breasts. I would say that I had about 20 or so people grab my chest that day. Most of them asked for permission but there were quite a few that just went for the gold. A feasible way to deal with this, is to stay calm. Stop them and tell them that you would appreciate if they ask before they touch. I found that being open and honest will prevent this. There is an even better way to deal with this. Which brings us to the next tip.
As you can see in the pictures I was sporting a bra top. The bra was not stuffed with anything, there were no falsies or anything like that in there but oddly, numerous people were compelled to grab my chest as if there were boobs in there. I am not sure if it was because I am a man, or because they thought I wouldn't mind, but I felt that it was highly unusual to assume that I would let someone grope me without permission. I can't imagine that there were any females there that would allow someone to freely come up to them and fondle their breasts. I would say that I had about 20 or so people grab my chest that day. Most of them asked for permission but there were quite a few that just went for the gold. A feasible way to deal with this, is to stay calm. Stop them and tell them that you would appreciate if they ask before they touch. I found that being open and honest will prevent this. There is an even better way to deal with this. Which brings us to the next tip.
I wasn't lactating, but whatever.
Tip#3: The Law of Equal Exchange
After the 4th or 5th time that I had my chest grabbed, I thought. This is unfair. I deserve the same rights that a woman has. If they are going to grab my boobs, I am going to have to feel their breasts as well ... it worked! Well some of the time. I did have a few times where some ladies went for the grab and I said "Woah! If you are going to grab my chest, I would like to politely grab yours as well." After this, a few women redacted their chest grabbing attempts, but more often than not, the law of equal exchange was upheld.
After the 4th or 5th time that I had my chest grabbed, I thought. This is unfair. I deserve the same rights that a woman has. If they are going to grab my boobs, I am going to have to feel their breasts as well ... it worked! Well some of the time. I did have a few times where some ladies went for the grab and I said "Woah! If you are going to grab my chest, I would like to politely grab yours as well." After this, a few women redacted their chest grabbing attempts, but more often than not, the law of equal exchange was upheld.
That was one of the heaviest boobs that I ever felt.
Thank you for sticking around for the last "Convention Boobs" post. Hopefully, my tips and stories are helpful an inspiring to you. See you at the next convention!
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